If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
