I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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