His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
