so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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