You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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