I just threw up on my dentist
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
