What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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