gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
