you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
