is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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