When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize