I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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