Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Randomize
