four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
