Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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