please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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