I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
organizing the empties. That sober.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
