yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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