farters have to be the big spoon...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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