You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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