She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm passing your future prison.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
