I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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