In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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