sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
