thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's just like the Real World with babies
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i've created a new STD.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
