She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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