Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
