Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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