Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
