Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
