I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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