so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
