two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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