i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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