I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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