I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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