D3 body, D1 cock
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
