official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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