I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize