what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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