i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
