She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
