Where did you get a picture of my penis
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
