Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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