ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
