she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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