i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
