I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
