escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have feelings that need drinking.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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