I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
