Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
