you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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