I puked a lego.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
