watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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