i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize