At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm like, not good at living.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
