great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
